Weekly Schrutism: Classics (4/3/09)

"It's good to be paranoid. People need to be more paranoid. Case in point, JFK. If I had been JFK, I would've seen all three gunmen. I would've pulled out my concealed Luger and fired first. Man in book depository, boom! Grassy knoll, boom! Fake Jackie, boom! Then I'd shoot myself, so I don't change history and create a paradox, boom! But right at the last minute I'd twist out of the way of the bullet. Nice try, history. Better luck next year."

- Deleted Scene from "Customer Survey" (Season 5, Episode 6)