Weekly Schrutism: "Stress Relief"

Dwight: Ok, everyone. I'm going to need you to sign this statement of regret, as an acknowledgment you heard it, ok? Everyone come on up here; it's not a big deal.

Phyllis: It is a big deal. You almost killed Stanley.

Dwight: Yeah. Right. I filled him full of butter and sugar for fifty years and forced him not to exercise.